Going through a "Thing"
I'm going through a thing. Have you ever gone through a thing? The year 2014 has been my year of extremes. The result? This thing.
Perhaps it is my 51 years of age. Falling in love. Love lost. Jobless. Homeless. Being a full time student. New job. Newer job. Moving. Moving again. Moving again and again. Settling into the final move. Now I have a home. Not knowing what to do with it. Going to Mexico. Not resort Mexico. Real Mexico. Missing Mexico. Making a Zumba comeback. Committing to auditioning for The Voice. Losing an old friend to suicide. Reconnecting with really good friends. Not having enough time for them. Gaining weight. Losing weight. Having time for football. Wearing my first real Bronco gear. Watching the game alone. Watching the game with a friend via text messages and picture sharing. Coming home to a peaceful place at night but suffering from the quiet loneliness associated with it. Yardwork. Allergies. Grandbabies (yes.....!). Awaiting the arrival of a new grandbaby. Travelling 1,100 miles to meet him. He doesn't arrive while I'm there. Travelling 1,100 miles home. He still isn't there. Realizing the child that is carrying this baby is way to stinkin' far from home and my heart breaks. Watching my little girls grow into women and realizing I can't do a single thing about it. Working too much. The necessity of home. Seeing a crazy world that makes no real room for family. Just work. Knowing I'm not doing the work I'm supposed to be doing. Not knowing how to change that. Or just being too scared to do it.
It's the thing. I am sitting in my office. I know I'm not taking enough pictures or writing enough or doing the work I know I should be doing. Getting news of an earthquake yesterday, and having it before AP or HuffPost and not able to do a thing about it. *Heavy sigh* I need to change the thing. I need to turn it into MY THING.
The thing. That which you are called to do, knowing you are supposed to be doing it, but not getting it done because this world tells you no. Since when did it get to boss me around so? I need to own this day and get involved in my thing. I need to quit moping. Quit crying. Quit staring. Quit waiting for the ache and pain to go away before I move on, and move on into the thing and then the ache and pain will dissipate.
Today? Today I start living my thing!
Perhaps it is my 51 years of age. Falling in love. Love lost. Jobless. Homeless. Being a full time student. New job. Newer job. Moving. Moving again. Moving again and again. Settling into the final move. Now I have a home. Not knowing what to do with it. Going to Mexico. Not resort Mexico. Real Mexico. Missing Mexico. Making a Zumba comeback. Committing to auditioning for The Voice. Losing an old friend to suicide. Reconnecting with really good friends. Not having enough time for them. Gaining weight. Losing weight. Having time for football. Wearing my first real Bronco gear. Watching the game alone. Watching the game with a friend via text messages and picture sharing. Coming home to a peaceful place at night but suffering from the quiet loneliness associated with it. Yardwork. Allergies. Grandbabies (yes.....!). Awaiting the arrival of a new grandbaby. Travelling 1,100 miles to meet him. He doesn't arrive while I'm there. Travelling 1,100 miles home. He still isn't there. Realizing the child that is carrying this baby is way to stinkin' far from home and my heart breaks. Watching my little girls grow into women and realizing I can't do a single thing about it. Working too much. The necessity of home. Seeing a crazy world that makes no real room for family. Just work. Knowing I'm not doing the work I'm supposed to be doing. Not knowing how to change that. Or just being too scared to do it.
It's the thing. I am sitting in my office. I know I'm not taking enough pictures or writing enough or doing the work I know I should be doing. Getting news of an earthquake yesterday, and having it before AP or HuffPost and not able to do a thing about it. *Heavy sigh* I need to change the thing. I need to turn it into MY THING.
The thing. That which you are called to do, knowing you are supposed to be doing it, but not getting it done because this world tells you no. Since when did it get to boss me around so? I need to own this day and get involved in my thing. I need to quit moping. Quit crying. Quit staring. Quit waiting for the ache and pain to go away before I move on, and move on into the thing and then the ache and pain will dissipate.
Today? Today I start living my thing!
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