Charlotte

Her name was Charlotte.  She was my little bundle of velvety joy.  I named her Charlotte after the spider in Charlotte's Web.  You see, Wilbur was this runt pig that seemed always to have a battle to fight or an obstacle to overcome.  Wilbur was loved deeply by Fern, his "savior", cared for deeply by his barnyard "congregation", and encouraged continually by his "comforter", Charlotte. When Wilbur was struggling, Charlotte always said "Chin up, Wilbur"!   So this Charlotte, my beautiful Shar Pei sweetheart was my "chin up".  I lost her recently.  She began having seizures at noon one Sunday and they continued throughout the day until the evening when I finally had to make the choice to let her go.  She had suffered a great deal, being wrapped in ice packs and wet towels to bring her fever down to 105.7.  Her mind was gone, and her body only resting due to great amounts of sedatives.  It was horrible. 

She was young, only 5 1/2 months old.  And I LOVED this puppy.  She was my little joy during a horrific time in my life.  She loved me so much.  Nothing like coming home from a hard and demanding day and a little soft somebody wrapping themselves around you making you feel like you are the most important thing in their entire lives.  She was the best dog and easiest dog I had ever had.  And I've had many.  But Charlotte, she was special.  I NEEDED her.  And it was as if she was born just to help me get through a difficult time, and then her work was done, and it was time to go.  I hate the thought of that, but I also believe it's true.  She was born just for me, just to save me from my heartache and hardship and to get me through a terrible time in my life when I couldn't have done it without her. 

Jesus is like that.  Born just to save us from ourselves.  Born to take the brunt of our sin and ugly, live a short time on earth, but long enough to give us exactly what we need before dying, and taking all our sin and ugly with Him so we don't have to.  He doesn't need us.  He just LOVES us.  When we come home to Him, He wraps Himself around us and lets us know we are the most important thing in the world to Him, and He loves us so much in that moment, it makes all the worries and stress and hurts dissipate while we allow Him to love our hearts so completely. 

I feel so blessed to have had this puppy, Charlotte.  She taught me an awful lot about how Jesus wants to love me, and wants to be loved.  And that my relationship with Him is more about the loving than anything else.  Not just taking care of me.  Not just providing fo rme.  Not just giving me what I think I need or want.  But coming home to Him and getting LOVED and getting warmed up at His feet, and welcomed to His side.  Jesus doesn't have me on a leash, but I sure try to keep Him on one.  I am somewhat like a puppy, I guess.  Feed me.  Water me.  Take me for a walk.  If I don't like where we are going, I pull back.  And I put up a fight and struggle if I'm afraid.   Maybe being on a leash isn't so bad.  And He won't take me somewhere He can't take care of me.   I just need to trust Him.  And let Him love me.   Gonna try that for a change.  :-)