Life on Loan

What do a man's coat and a pink hairdryer have in common? They are both on loan. Things that some of us take for granted were things I could not put my hands on so friends are loaning me their extras. (Thank you!)

Having these two things loaned to me set me thinking about how much of my living is on loan. I have a car because of a car loan. I have an apartment because I am borrowing space from a landlord. My kids? On loan. I borrowed them just long enough to have to pay them back to society. Now they are borrowing their kids. Everything I am, everything I possess, its all on loan!

Imagine a world without life on loan. No debt. No responsibility. Not owing a single person a single thing. A society completely self-absorbed in selfishness not owing another. This is it. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

But think about this: If we really own it, then everything that happens in it is our responsibility. The people we have lost. The job we got laid off from. The child with cancer. You own it, your fault.

Do you really want to have that responsibility?

Being completely financially shaken is a reality in my life. Getting sick with a chronic illness? Reality. Losing a child. More real than many can understand. I don't want to take responsibility for this. I want it to be because this life is fleeting, and my days are on loan. And I don't want to end it paying back the debt with severe penalty fees. No way. I want to live it daily, giving it back in small increments, the pieces that I can, and keep pursuing getting to the end, and having it paid in full.

One thing I've learned over the past few years is that I know nothing. But here's my hope. This life I am living on loan? It was offered at a great price. At the end of it, I will either have to pay it back or trade it in for one that's debt free.

I don't know where you stand on the Jesus issue. Heck, a lot of the time I don't know either. I do believe this though, that He paid the debt. God has created life, and while we are breathing, it is on loan. We can choose to end it with penalty fees (oh shudder the thought!) or at the end of its living, trade it in for a new one.

This life is HARD. Its imperfect. I don't want to believe that the space I am in is all my fault, or that because I own it, all of this is something I brought on myself. While its important to take responsibility and move forward and correct mistakes and apologize to those you've hurt, its also important not to be victim to "its all my fault."

Different loans, different lives. All invaluable. All priceless. Borrow well. Pay some of yourself to others every day. No matter how little, no matter how small, no matter how special, no matter how tall. Its on loan.