I Wish I Would've

Sometimes I get a bad case of the I-wish-I-would'ves. Do you know what I mean? Those little things that you meant to do that you didn't do because you just didn't make time for them? 

There was a saddlery and feed store in a small town not far from where I live. It was family owned for 48 years and recently closed. I suppose my thinking of it first thing this morning was prompted by a dream of some sort that I can't recall, but upon waking, I thought "hmm....I wish I would've gone in there before they closed." 

Then I go to write this down in my journal and as I scribble the date at the top of the page, I realize that 2017 isn't going to move any slower than the years previous. We are already 11 days in. That's when it hits me. I don't want to keep hearing myself say "I wish I would've." 

I wonder if I regret more what I haven't done than what I've done and wished I wouldn't have. How very sad to live a life of regret.

I don't want to keep hearing myself say "I wish I would've." I want to DO! Start! Don't stop! Keep going! 

This is hard task, really, when you think about it. Oppression, depression, finances, weather, life's tricks that keep us from doing are real. Lord knows I've battled all of those reasons. 

So much of what I've wanted to do takes money. Often it takes a whole lot of it. Sometimes it takes a five dollar bill, but if you don't have it, you don't have it. I'm just now being able to claim I have a little of it--and just a VERY little at that. Once in awhile I just have to shake my head and remind myself that its just money. It's just money! Sometimes its more important to do. 

I am learning that faith, and the desire to do, are connected somehow. I'm not talking about a whim. I'm talking about that insistent need to experience something. A drive? Coffee with a friend? Phone call? Becoming a piece of your own history? That's what I'm talking about. 

I know what its like to be overdrawn, unemployed, unable to work, unsure where the next meal is going to come from, or if you will have a table to eat it on. But that's another story for another day. Today its about overcoming the obstacles to do.

Hugs. Family time. Sitting across from your husband and seeing him instead of just looking at him. Listening to your mother tell you the same story she's told you a million times. Playing with your kids or just snuggling them for five minutes. Do you know that kids often misbehave just because they need you for a minute? I digress. That's another story for another day, too. 

Don't let money control experience. You cannot put a price tag on experience! The experience of peace, or family time, or love, or nature, or kindness. 

I wish I would've gone into that saddlery shop. I wish I would've spent more time with my Grandma and my Aunt Karen. I wish I would've been kinder and more patient with my kids when they were little. 

You can't take time back. YOU CAN'T TAKE TIME BACK. 

Do. Don't wish. Just do. Wouldn't it be much more interesting to say "I did?"