HECK YES vs. MELANCHOLY MAY

Anyone else feeling this? A bit of sadness attached to the next stage of getting back to "normal?" 

The truth is, we aren't anywhere NEAR normal. And honestly, I'm not anywhere near hoping we will be. 

I'm not ready for traffic filled mornings or evenings, with grumpy drivers, not unlike myself, in a hurry to get from one place to the next. I'm not ready for a 20 minute drive to take 45 minutes or longer. I'm not ready for the revival of a high-paced-get-it-done-now workload. I'm not ready for having to live up to another's expectations or being told I've failed. I'm not ready to go work for another and in turn, not working for my Real Boss. 

I'm one of those people who seems to have to ability to work my hardest and my best at only one thing at a time. When I'm working in the corporate world, no matter how large or small the office, I throw myself into it. My brain works hard, my body works hard, and I give my all. 

That means being a photographer suffers. That means being a writer suffers. That means my friends are often feeling left on the sidelines because when I have free time, I want to spend it with my family. 

If I'm honest, I like what April looked like. Was I sick for some of it? Yes, deathly ill. There were days that making my bed exhausted me. But there were other days that taking a hike and spending the day outdoors on my feet energized me. And I think for the most part, what was the most spectacular thing was just being me.  I got to live in "heck yes" moments. 

©CherieElainePhotography2020

It is amazing to get to choose the moments. So often I am too tired, too overwhelmed, too busy to really do the living of what I am created to be. 

I indulged in a little gift for myself the other day. I journal everyday, and since bookstores and stationary shops are closed, I looked around at Walmart and Target trying to find a new journal. What I saw first were the pens. The colorful, delightful gel pens that I prefer writing with. I have had pink and purple, black and blue, but this box of 20 colors.....oh, yes please. Not only yes, but heck yes! A little indulgence. And then? A composition book. Not my favorite thing to journal in, but do you see what the cover said? It said "heck yes!" 

What April gave me was time to live my "heck yes." April put 81 great photographic experiences on my website (cherieelaine.photoreflect.com). It gave me 10 blog posts. It gave me hours of reading, time to paint, to play my guitar, to stay engaged on social media. When I wasn't being sick, I was being me. And when I was being sick, I was thinking about being me. 

My devotions this morning brought me to this passage: Please don't, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. GOD IS THERE. Hold the high ground with Him at your side. 

These words encouraged my heart SO much! Don't give up my "heck yes!" 

Don't give up the extra time you've spent with your family.

Don't give up being your children's teacher.

Don't give up working on that home project.

Don't give up those hobbies that have been sitting idle for so long.

Don't give up cooking those meals.

Don't give up playing games.

Don't give up taking daily walks or runs or bike rides.

Don't go slip back into being what everyone else tells you to be. 

GOD IS HERE. It might not feel like it. There are a thousand and one reasons why we could be depressed. But there are thousand and one reasons we should hold the high ground. 

Friends, this pandemic is HARD. Maybe nothing feels right to you. Maybe you are financially devastated and that's all you can see. Step away from the habit of believing that is the most important thing. Close your eyes. Seek God. He is here in it with you! Right now, the world doesn't get to tell you who you are or who you should be. It only tells you where you get to be it. Reach down into your deepest self, and live THAT person. Live your HECK YES!!!!

I love you!