WHAT NEXT?

It is Friday the 13th, just 13 days from Thanksgiving. I sit here wondering what the Governor's press conference will bring today. Half of my grandchildren have been sent home for remote learning, while the other half are hanging on in the classroom for what seems to be dear life. 

The words are ringing in my ears: What next???

Deep breathing doesn't seem to be calming my over-anxious thoughts. Staring at the words in my Bible fall on deaf ears. Praying for ears to hear seems to allow the negative energy to seep in right alongside the good stuff. 

SO many people I know are quarantined right now. Those hugs? Again, they become few and far between. 

The very work I do requires me to be face to face with unmasked people, exposing myself, and how ever many others in front of the camera, to potential risk. Yet part of me knows that during this time when we can't be together, photographs are more important than ever. 

I've friends who lost every thing in forest fires this year. Some gathered family photographs and heirlooms because they had time. Others? They no longer have them because they were reduced to ash as the fire tore through with such speed and intensity, there was little time to do anything but get out. 

This season, my business, among many others, is going to see a decline that will be nearly impossible to recover from. 

So much early Christmas going on. Houses lit up, trees blazing warm in living rooms, shoppers preparing early, music on the radio already singing songs of good cheer. 

Then there are others that think this is far too early to put on your Christmas sweater to celebrate. 

I think we are a society looking for anything to celebrate. 

My normally look-for-the-good-in-everything policy is waning. So my thought is celebrate every good thing now. Every good and perfect gift. And be thankful. 

Then those words....what next dance in front of me. 

God has taken everything from some--from people to things. It's a horrible time. How inappropriate it would be for me to say something like "It will all work out" or "God has something better for you?" These are not helpful to people who are hurting--and hurting more than most of us will ever know. 

I feel helpless, afraid, sometimes numb. My thoughts are scrambled. Anyone else? 

Guess what brought me joy this morning? Taking out my trash. Fresh, crisp, morning autumn air filled my lungs and touched my face. The little things matter. 

I can't give you the little things. I'm no more spiritual or wise or good at "getting over it" than anyone else is. All I can do is watch for the little things. 

They are hard to find. I would be amiss if I didn't admit that very thing. 

While we are awaiting what's next, perhaps we can stop judging what others do to maintain sanity, or even joy, and look at ourselves. IT'S HARD WORK TO FIND THOSE GOOD THINGS. But sometimes, it will hit you right in the face like a crisp autumn breeze. 

I'm scared, too. All we can do is keep trying. Even if it's hard. I wish I could help. The best thing I can think to do right now is cyber hug you across the few and the many miles between us. 

I choose to keep believing. 

And I believe in you. I love you. 

©CherieElainePhotography2020