What Does that Scale Say?!?!?!?
As is common for me, stress finds its way into my body and causes havoc. I have an EXCELLENT doc. She supports my hippy-self who loves natural healing but combines it with medicine to balance this body.
Not feeling well and leaving her office on Friday with a "double this" and "add this med" and "take this one for three days then stop" and "add this supplement" had my head spinning. Literally. All of the sudden changes made me dizzy. What really got my attention though was when she said, "getting that weight off again will help."
Again. She said getting the weight off again would help.
I knew it was going to come up because yes, stress, a desk job, and lethargy all add up on my scale. But what if I hadn't of given up the fight to keep losing? Where would I be now if I had found the means to KEEP GOING?
What am I going to do this time that is different so this doesn't happen again?
Stress will not go away.
A desk job is necessary until I am able to earn enough money in the arts to do it full time.
We are adjusting one medication that will hopefully aid with lethargy. It's difficult for a usually ADHD person to need 13 hours of sleep a day.
What am I, the responsible person for this body, going to do differently this time?
I have always said ANY diet will work when you're ready. And I AM. But I want something I can live with, something that won't derail me by going off of it. I want real food. Fresh food. Yummy food. And I desperately want to learn to "need" less of it.
Depression returned with the events of the past couple of months, even though I was being treated for it because, well, change is hard. I spend a lot of time sleeping it off, it seems. I've shared before that I'm afraid to feel. I'm afraid of being hungry. Hell, I'm afraid to be thin.
What if I stare that fear in the face and really deal with it?
What if I choose RIGHT NOW?
Standing in front of a mirror, I decided to speak differently into myself, to my body, to my.....fat.
"You are beautiful."
"You are strong."
"You are brilliant."
"Your worth is far above rubies."
"You are worthy of love and respect."
"I am incredible."
"I forgive myself for doing this again."
"I love every pound of me, and as painful as it is going to be to let you go, I have to."
"I expected you to protect me when it wasn't your responsibility."
I realize as I'm typing that I changed from second person to first. I actually started speaking these words honestly into myself.
Already, the willingness to change is there.
It isn't easy! Its always daunting! But always shouldn't even be in that sentence! Because it should be finished.
The reason I'm being so transparent with this tonight is that I know I'm not alone. I know that losing and gaining and being a yo-yo dieter is common and defeating. What if we really start loving ourselves? No matter what, look into that mirror and smile at yourself, with adoration, and LOVE.
I believe in positive affirmations. I know so many people who's lives have been changed because of them. Let's try this mirror love thing. Let's say it to ourselves when we see our reflection in a store front or a car window. Every glimpse of ourselves is a moment to say "I love me. I'm beautiful. I'm smart."
Whatever words you so crave hearing from another, say to yourself. Give yourself the gift of love, living, adoration. Cherish your body. Its the only one you have.
Love you.
Not feeling well and leaving her office on Friday with a "double this" and "add this med" and "take this one for three days then stop" and "add this supplement" had my head spinning. Literally. All of the sudden changes made me dizzy. What really got my attention though was when she said, "getting that weight off again will help."
Again. She said getting the weight off again would help.
I knew it was going to come up because yes, stress, a desk job, and lethargy all add up on my scale. But what if I hadn't of given up the fight to keep losing? Where would I be now if I had found the means to KEEP GOING?
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| Who names a scale company"Thinner"? ©CherieElainePhotography2019 |
What am I going to do this time that is different so this doesn't happen again?
Stress will not go away.
A desk job is necessary until I am able to earn enough money in the arts to do it full time.
We are adjusting one medication that will hopefully aid with lethargy. It's difficult for a usually ADHD person to need 13 hours of sleep a day.
What am I, the responsible person for this body, going to do differently this time?
I have always said ANY diet will work when you're ready. And I AM. But I want something I can live with, something that won't derail me by going off of it. I want real food. Fresh food. Yummy food. And I desperately want to learn to "need" less of it.
Depression returned with the events of the past couple of months, even though I was being treated for it because, well, change is hard. I spend a lot of time sleeping it off, it seems. I've shared before that I'm afraid to feel. I'm afraid of being hungry. Hell, I'm afraid to be thin.
What if I stare that fear in the face and really deal with it?
What if I choose RIGHT NOW?
Standing in front of a mirror, I decided to speak differently into myself, to my body, to my.....fat.
"You are beautiful."
"You are strong."
"You are brilliant."
"Your worth is far above rubies."
"You are worthy of love and respect."
"I am incredible."
"I forgive myself for doing this again."
"I love every pound of me, and as painful as it is going to be to let you go, I have to."
"I expected you to protect me when it wasn't your responsibility."
I realize as I'm typing that I changed from second person to first. I actually started speaking these words honestly into myself.
Already, the willingness to change is there.
It isn't easy! Its always daunting! But always shouldn't even be in that sentence! Because it should be finished.
The reason I'm being so transparent with this tonight is that I know I'm not alone. I know that losing and gaining and being a yo-yo dieter is common and defeating. What if we really start loving ourselves? No matter what, look into that mirror and smile at yourself, with adoration, and LOVE.
I believe in positive affirmations. I know so many people who's lives have been changed because of them. Let's try this mirror love thing. Let's say it to ourselves when we see our reflection in a store front or a car window. Every glimpse of ourselves is a moment to say "I love me. I'm beautiful. I'm smart."
Whatever words you so crave hearing from another, say to yourself. Give yourself the gift of love, living, adoration. Cherish your body. Its the only one you have.
Love you.
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