A VERY PRESENT HELP
This post is very personal and painful. Although there are no particulars mentioned, I know that there are some readers who feel the same emotions that are expressed here. I want you to know that I feel you, and know your pain, and believe that there is hope, even when it isn't what we think it should look like.
I love you--Cherie
How long has it been since you found yourself immersed in tears, face down, screaming with everything in you, begging God for help while feeling abandoned?
Me. Today.
After a night of anxious thoughts that disrupted any hope of sleep, and trying twice to settle into the soft comfort of my bed, I gave up. I ended up on the couch with the TV on to silence my fears.
This morning, I saturated myself with encouraging words from The Word, and still, I wept. And wept. And wept.
And then, this one word. The one I needed to cry out the most, came in loud and passionate sobs: Help. Please, help. Help.....
Heal
Everything in my life
Lovingly, tenderly,
Please!!!!!
I am facing a huge decision that I just can't seem to make. I'm torn between what the world says, the experiences I've had that are so similar to this one, and what I feel spiritually.
Reality says=I have to do this today.
Hope says=That God will fix it before I have to.
I do NOT want to do what it seems I have to do, and I do NOT understand why this is the better plan than just getting help. Healing for Everything, Lovingly, Please.
I absolutely cannot do anything about it right now. It is out of my control. It is in God's hands. But I have to do the thing. The thing I really don't want to. The thing I don't think I'm strong enough to do.
I don't necessarily feel comfortable sharing my "thing." But I know every single one of us has one.
What is your thing? What is it that is stealing your joy, your sleep, your sanity? And are you willing to ask for HELP?
He has left me so many times, with nowhere to be, but on my knees. He has allowed so many things to devastate me, maybe not for a lesson meant for me, but for another. I am but a vessel. I am a vessel that has to be emptied, poured out, even in a pool of tears, so that it can be filled, and poured out, again and again.
His choice of healing everything in my life, no matter how, is done lovingly, tenderly, and in answer to my please. I have yet to see how it is good for me, but I know it might be for the good of another. My tears are not wasted. I admit, this one is hard. Very, very hard.
Oh Lord, this crazy adventure You are ever taking me on is terrifying! Thank You that I can scream and cry and pound sand while I await Your answers. Thank You for whatever new and beautiful thing you are doing. Thank you that even though I feel like I can't, I can. Thank You for being my very present HELP in this time of need.
Even when it isn't the life I would choose, it is the life I have. And I have already lived through 100% of my worst days. Today will be no different.
This may not be the life you would choose, but it is the life you have. You have already lived through 100% of YOUR worst days. If you can change it, do. If you can't, ask for HELP. Hang in there. You are heard. You are loved.
I love you--Cherie
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Me. Today.
After a night of anxious thoughts that disrupted any hope of sleep, and trying twice to settle into the soft comfort of my bed, I gave up. I ended up on the couch with the TV on to silence my fears.
This morning, I saturated myself with encouraging words from The Word, and still, I wept. And wept. And wept.
And then, this one word. The one I needed to cry out the most, came in loud and passionate sobs: Help. Please, help. Help.....
Heal
Everything in my life
Lovingly, tenderly,
Please!!!!!
I am facing a huge decision that I just can't seem to make. I'm torn between what the world says, the experiences I've had that are so similar to this one, and what I feel spiritually.
Reality says=I have to do this today.
Hope says=That God will fix it before I have to.
I do NOT want to do what it seems I have to do, and I do NOT understand why this is the better plan than just getting help. Healing for Everything, Lovingly, Please.
I absolutely cannot do anything about it right now. It is out of my control. It is in God's hands. But I have to do the thing. The thing I really don't want to. The thing I don't think I'm strong enough to do.
I don't necessarily feel comfortable sharing my "thing." But I know every single one of us has one.
What is your thing? What is it that is stealing your joy, your sleep, your sanity? And are you willing to ask for HELP?
He has left me so many times, with nowhere to be, but on my knees. He has allowed so many things to devastate me, maybe not for a lesson meant for me, but for another. I am but a vessel. I am a vessel that has to be emptied, poured out, even in a pool of tears, so that it can be filled, and poured out, again and again.
His choice of healing everything in my life, no matter how, is done lovingly, tenderly, and in answer to my please. I have yet to see how it is good for me, but I know it might be for the good of another. My tears are not wasted. I admit, this one is hard. Very, very hard.
Oh Lord, this crazy adventure You are ever taking me on is terrifying! Thank You that I can scream and cry and pound sand while I await Your answers. Thank You for whatever new and beautiful thing you are doing. Thank you that even though I feel like I can't, I can. Thank You for being my very present HELP in this time of need.
Even when it isn't the life I would choose, it is the life I have. And I have already lived through 100% of my worst days. Today will be no different.
This may not be the life you would choose, but it is the life you have. You have already lived through 100% of YOUR worst days. If you can change it, do. If you can't, ask for HELP. Hang in there. You are heard. You are loved.
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