SWEET, SWEET SURRENDER

Do you have days that you just wake up MAD about your circumstances? 

"I prayed for a smooth transition."
"I am tired of living in a state of poverty."
"I wanted to stay at that job permanently."
"Really, I'm starting over again?"
"I spent the last year and a half working my a** off and now I'm back to square one!"

Last week I was immersed in the most wonderful job. It was a temporary assignment that was supposed to last two to three weeks. It was also less hourly than I've been making. But it was at a most wonderful place, and I said yes quicker that I could doubt the acceptance of it! 

For five days I was doing data entry. Just plugging in numbers into excel. But my breaks. Oh the heavenly breaks. The breaks that fueled my very soul. 

©CherieElainePhotography2020

Sometimes its the work you're doing, and sometimes it WHERE you're doing the work you're doing. :-) I spent five GLORIOUS days at The Butterfly Pavillion.

Daily, I had lunch with Inigo Montoya (yes, from the Princess Bride), a Day Octopus who managed to steal  my heart. So afraid and hiding when there was a group of people around, he would come out and dance for me and follow me around his tank when we were alone. 

          ©CherieElainePhotography2020

And then there were walks among the butterflies. A large room, a habitat for them to evolve from chrysalis to flight. I was a visitor, a pilgrim in their home, careful not to disturb them, but wanting desperately to be among them. I took so many pictures. 

Sadly, being happy, also makes me work efficiently and my two to three week job turned into fives days and it was complete. 

Onward, I say to myself, let's move onward! But to what? Another office? An office that doesn't have nature to increase it's worth? Another temporary position? 

All of the words and anger came tumbling from me this morning, and I know that a lot of that is fear based. I don't want to be scared! I am tired of spending most of my waking hours feeling unfulfilled, but also, just trapped! This is NOT abundant living. 

God has opened my eyes, and the Spirit in me is moving to notice His work in my life. I've stated that I would rather be my authentic self than have riches. When it comes down to it, that is my desire. And He is granting that desire. 

While my relationship with money feels like the most important one, today I am reminded that it is just money. 

I have to sit quietly in His presence, reminded to surrender. He's given me so much more than money. He's giving me life and experience, and opportunity beyond employment. 

That is the beauty of sweet, sweet surrender. It is seeing beyond what the physical world is telling you. It is seeing the moments you are called to really LIVE IN. 

As I was scrolling through Facebook this morning, feeling grumpy, a post from my favorite singer in the world popped up. Sweet, Sweet Surrender by John Denver. 

"And I don't know what the future is holdin' in store
I don't know where I'm goin', I'm not sure where I've been
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the livin', I don't need to see the end...."

The Spirit speaks into us, and God gives us gifts that we often miss because we think we know best. I've learned so much about this during my unemployed season. Maybe this year, I'm finally learning the lesson. He has so much more for me, and much of it is exactly what I've asked for. I just need to surrender it to Him. 

Enjoy the song. Love you. 

Sweet Surrender, John Denver

Sweet Surrender lyrics by John Denver: Lost and alone on some forgotten highway Traveled by many, remembered by few Lookin' for something that I can believe ...